As happy as a clam!

I'm sparing a moment of thought for all those women who went before me, slaving away at dead end jobs while maintaining a constant level of poor self-esteem to keep them happy in dead end jobs.  While sometimes my assertiveness and self-satisfaction could be mistaken for arrogance (surely not), I partly attribute this state of mind to all those sisters and mothers who came before me and took the big hits.  So here is my list of thankyous to the sisterhood:
1.  Thankyou for questioning the notion that women have small emotion ridden brains and so can only work as mothers or in menial repetitive service jobs.
2. Thankyou for entertaining the concept that not all ovaries need to be put to good use
3.  Thankyou, and this is from deep in my heart, for absorbing the slings and bows of disdain from those people in your workforce who wished to mock you for your efforts.  A special thankyou for those times that you said: "Enough" and chose to fight back.
4.  Thankyou for not taking everything so seriously and for imparting the notion that a head-cold is not life threatening.
5.  Thankyou for wanting more when others thought you deserved less
6.  Thankyou for passing on a sense of decision and certainty to your daughters, even when you doubted your judgement in doing so.

SAY NO TO SUNDAY NIGHT TELLY!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!- Bob and Blanche you were so unsexy then, you're still unsexy now, even with two moderately attractive actors playing you.

Tell me you did not just grab her butt- that's sooo wrong!  It's going to take at least a thousand years before this romance is going to look anything but ickky.

Channel 10- shame on you,- I hope this doesn't count in your Australian made content quota.

Off for a quick chuck and a cry over the sorriness of our Australian political heritage.   

Is that an election in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

At the moment I feel special. Because my vote counts and there are people out there willing to tell me so.  There are even advertisements on the telly that reinforce my importantness.  I am so imptytimpityimportant.
That's why I've decided to cast my vote for Paul the Psychic Octopus.  Just look at his track record:
Able to show vision: tick.
Belief in the future: tick.
Provide two struggling countries with economic stimulus: tick.
Bucketloads of charisma: tick.
A member of the EEC: tick.  (That's not so important, just thought I'd add it.)
Knows what it's like to be displaced and imprisoned and then used for economic gain by the powerful imperialist ruling group: tick.
Has his own iphone app: tick tick tick.

VOTE 1 PAUL THE PSYCHIC OCTOPUS

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All Hail the Mighty Salad!

Image via Wikipedia

You never know what your latest life-rope is going to be.  There are the conventional: walk along the beach, laughing with friends- virtually every life saver has been accounted for, and in the quest for instant sanity we are marched "Achtung!" into the next make-happy cure.

So never would have though the dinner salad would have done it for me.  I'm used to being saved by a hefty block of chocoate, maybe something deep-fried (doesn't matter what).  However, the joy of salad assemblage was only eclipsed by the eating.

Whoa- have I gone nutty, nut nuts? (Actually, Australian pecans mmmm)  After a day of computer inservice, a strawberry Freddo that almost sliced me in two with its sweetness and the unbearable cheerfulness of my well balanced colleagues who seemed to be coping with being back at work with a far-better game face than I could ever muster-the combination of rocket, roma cherry tomatoes, pecans, cucumber, pear and marinated pecan was all it took to bring back some inner peace.

I think I said once before that I confuse myself.  This hasn't changed. 

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"I love talking about nothing. It is the only thing I know anything about."

 I've missed doing nothing.  Like Oscar Wilde (from whom I pilfered the above quote), I think I excel at it.  I just don't do it enough.
I'm just finishing off my two week holiday break and I don't want to go back to work.  No offense to the education system, but I'm quite happy at home sleeping, eating, sometimes moving and doing odd bits of reading and writing.  In between all that I get moments of nothing, blissful islands of time where I really don't have to achieve a thing.
I'm a bit scared about going back to work.  I'm going to have to achieve things, not only that but I'm going to have to show other people how they can achieve too.  I know it's supposed to be something good-to be a leader and an educator, but right at the moment it sucks. 
Nothing gets a bad rap, ("Nothing shall come of nothing, speak again" King Lear to daughter Cordelia just before he kicks her out of his castle and kingdom) mostly because the urge to do something meaningful and worthwhile has overtaken the value of just kinda hanging around. 
Over the next day or two I'm going to have to get excited about losing nothing.  Any tips or ideas would be greatly appreciated!

A new addition to our happy home!

Meet our new BBQ- Garth.  He arrived pre-named and absolutely stony cheap.  Cost us nothing, but was a combined effort of Ted the scrap man, Classic Steve and Glenn the beloved.  Garth's arrival in our home keeps the combined cost of all furnishings in our home over the last six years of being together at: $660!!!!  Yes, as much as we lust after Natuzzi lounge suites, the lure of running a recycled home is too great.  Thankyou to all who have made this possible: Mum and Dad for table, chairs, TV table, bedroom suite, office table, drier and wonderful floating kitchen bench (and probably a whole heap of other stufff), Viv for retro kitchen table and chairs, Megan and Jeff for bookshelves, Auntie Naomi for fluffy eighties tiger bedspread/rug, Classic Steve for office furniture, Noodles for the punching bag, Nick and Emma for retro tins, retro shelving and super maxi TV set and finally, to the courier company who brought Glenn the wrong computer two years ago-bigger, better, faster and stronger!

Ask Doctor Prince Alfonse

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"Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest Open Thread" and related posts (thebiglead.com)              


'Scuse me, Doctor Prince Alfonse, and I hate to bring this up, but you-being a dog, qualifies you, I believe, to comment on two vexacious issues that have been plaguing my mind.

First, on a lesser note, could you account for the reason why one of the most pernicious and lowly examples of human fodder be given canine qualities.  I ask this knowing that you, as a most regal and dignified hound who exemplies all the noble qualities, temeperament and wisdom of all your 56 breeds and-oh my goodness, you just answered my question oh wise one.  Hot dog= at least 56 different aspects of cows/pigs (lips, knees, earlobes etc.).  

A second and more plaguing issue- who would want to stuff themselves stupid with these 56 different aspects? And in a competitive manner?  For the accolades and derision of others? World-wide? Would you do this Doctor Prince Alfonse?  Even as I type this  the news that tells us a Chinese tightrope artist dressed as Elvis spent 60 days on the high-wire.  Now that is something to brag about, don't you think?  

Oh, Doctor Prince Alfonse, you wouldn't understand what it is about humans that we must distinguish ourselves by our menial pursuits.  We should all be like you Doctor, and distinguish outselves by doing the simple, most life affirming actions, with great gusto and dignity.